Lately I have had a lot of stuff on my mind. Things that I have wanted to say, but couldn’t really say to anyone. I’ve already been burned by allowing my friends into my personal business to ask them for advice, and now I’ve sworn off it. It seems that every time I tell someone for advice they either say something I don’t want to hear, or give me some bullshit advice that would only make the situation worse. Some of the things my friends have told me to do or done has had me wonder about their true motives…
A couple of weeks ago I was randomly stumbling when I found a site called Letters I’ll Never Send it’s basically a site where people post things that they really can’t tell anyone else. I read a good 15 pages of these posts from these people who had some really profound things to say. After a while I decided to contribute a post to the site. So I opened up Notepad++ and started typing away. I spent the next 30 minutes pouring my heart and soul into this letter that I’ll never send. When I finished I decided to save it in a folder called “Letters I’ll never send” and I submitted it to Letters I’ll Never Send.
After I had written that letter I felt like a huge load had been lifted off of my shoulders. Finally, I had let out everything that had been on my mind for weeks in just a few short paragraphs. The feeling was amazing, I felt like things were ok again and that I could continue to move forward. Yet, as life continued to buffet me with problem after problem I’ve found myself writing more and more letters to that folder. Today I have something to the order of 10 letters about different things that I needed to get off of my chest.
I truly feel that writing these letters has given me the ability to talk about how I feel without worrying about what people will think or worrying that somehow it’ll get out to the ravenous rumor spreaders here at Neumont. Maybe one day I’ll release my secret letters, but for now they’ll remain as letters I’ll never send.