On Midnight 2011 I declared that 2011 was going to be a good year for me. I said that I wasn’t going to let anything get me down again like it did last year. I am going to worry less, work harder, and be better. Period.
That’s the promise I made to myself on midnight, and I’ve been keeping it so far.
So you may be wondering: “How can you declare that 2011 is going to be a good year when you don’t know what’s going to happen in 2011?”
Going with the flow
A few days ago I sat down on my bed and it broke. The entire frame just broke in half, making the bed impossible to sleep on for the night. I had to sleep on the couch, which was really uncomfortable. Needless to say I had the right to be a little annoyed, but instead of getting upset I just laughed, watched a little TV, and tried to get some. So the next day I woke up and told our RA that my bed had broken and I needed him to help me move my old bed out and get me a new one. I expected him to just grab a frame like the one I had, but instead he gave me a steel frame with a box spring. Now, I can understand that many of you don’t see the awesomeness in a box spring, but I’ve never had one, and my bed is way more comfortable now than it was before.
What I re-learned, was to keep a positive attitude and hope for the best, and everything else will work itself out.
That was a hard one. A lot has happened over the last year, and one of the hardest things about what happened is constantly being in this state of defensiveness, looking for the first sign of trouble and then trying to preemptively fix the problem. It’s basically being in a constant state of fear, which is neither fun nor healthy. So I decided that I need to let go of what happened in the past, because what happened happened, and there’s no amount of worrying, stressing, and feeling bad about it that’s going to fix it. The only real thing I can do from this point is to learn from it, and move on. Holding onto it, is only going to hold me back and keep me from moving forward. I also decided that I was clearing all slates this year. Anyone who has ever upset me got a clean slate, I decided that I wasn’t going to be upset with someone over something they did a year ago. Everyone deserves a second, maybe even third and fourth chance, but as Brother Anderson has said many times during LDSSA, everyone is of infinite worth. So who am I to hold events of last year against them?
On my phone I have a reminder that comes up every day at noon it simply reads:
“Infinite patience and let go of the past”
and that’s what I’ve been living by, and I’m already seeing results.
I’m nowhere near as stressed as I was before the break, I’d have to say that I’m around 5% whereas before I was at a good 80% or more at times. I’m far happier, I mean, it feels like an entire plane was just lifted off of my shoulders. I guess you can say that it feels like you just took your first gasp of air after being underwater for two minutes. That’s how good I feel right now.
With this new approach, I’ve already started to see door opening up for me. I’ve got several web development, DJing, and Graphic Design opportunities opening up for me. At this point I can pick and choose what I want to do, but even if none of them work out I have enough to be comfortable and I’ll just continue to be patient, work hard, and be the best that I can be.